May 30, 2012 at 7:58 AM

Reasons

When I have nothing death will be my fortune. But even that my friends isn't promised. It's isn't as easy to obtain. Even though they tell us to uninvite the unknown and walk away from the darkness. They tell us to fear the inevitable and that we should never shake the hand of deaths evil cold touch. I myself have invited this cold hand to dinner. To dine with me and take me home. But it has declined my company. Only the fortunate get a chance to dance with death in the day. I continue to invite and continue to ask but he will never grace me with his peaceful presence.this silent savior I ask you wash me of the burdens I bear on my back. But even i know that it is a caged animal that will come when it's ready. So until then shy away my silent savior. Keep you loving pace touch away from me.

To

Mar 29, 2013 at 6:30 PM

I use to camp out in your rib cage

I made a home in your heart

I would set fires under your lungs

Until your body took flight

You see once

You needed to go and couldn't carry me.

I was too heavy you said I simply weighed you down. So you dropped me off and flew away

I laid there crying,waiting an dieing but I thrived and I was very close to a world that was better away from that homei built in your heart. Yet still I Romed to this day inhave no real home or place to rest my fire

I want you open up and allow me in

Please please let me in let me in

For once I lived in your rib cage and

I miss your heart of a home.

Apr 18, 2013 at 3:32 PM

Pretending to be strong to prove the world wrong. Keeping cool is so hard when the acid from the inside eats away The heat devours my thoughts an ideas. Festering obsessions that fuel my very need for perfection. Instead they project false truths and crazy dreams. Pretend realities that help create. Faulty foundations for a structure. Imperfect condemned demolished

Jun 1, 2013 at 6:43 PM

What do i miss about you tonight..i think its the passion of your wandering hands. How irresistible and beautiful you would make me feel with a simple touch.. I love your wandering hands that would explore my body as of it was a road map to a pre determined destination to a treasure you couldn't wait to find. Electricity flows through my body as you hands lift me and pull me and bring me closer to you. Tingles from my fingers tips to my ribcage to the pit of my stomach

Dec 21, 2014 at 4:45 PM

Where am I if im not lost?

I looked for you my little angle. I searched and I searched. I don't know where I'm going anymore without you. I lost it somewhere,and I don't know how to get it back. So if I'm not lost where am I? I've spent this time just going through the motions hoping I would stumble upon the little thing that made me..me

That little glimmer of hope that touched me and made me feel whole. I am empty without and my sight is going I can't look much longer because I wont be able to see it.

Dec 21, 2014 at 4:40 PM

I don't want to feel like I'm the root of your problems

I don't want to feel as if you have panted yourself in tainted soil. As if the dirt that nurtures you is also the thing weighing you down. I don't want to feel my presence is a burden or like my love isn't good enough. Make feel how you say. Make me feel like I have a safety net if my world crumbles make me feel like I am beautiful vines that grow and make your structure art. If not burn me down and don't give me false hope don't make me feel like there is a future in a world that you are drowning in. I don't need anyone gasping for air on my behalf.

Dec 17, 2014 at 9:35 PM

I use to believe in fairies and princess and world leaders. I use to believe in dreamers and princes and even monsters. I use to believe in god more the devil and good more than bad. I believed more than i hoped and as i grew i realized how hard if was to believe because i was expected to believe in real things..like myself and my future and other people. Im suppose to believe that you like me and you wont just leave me and im suppose to believe im loved by you and that I'm enough and you won't find something better. But these things are so tangible and they are made with sharp edges that can cut you if you hold on too tight. Im suppose to believe that when my parents die i will find someone else to come to me when i cant breathe in the middle of the night. Im suppose to believe that hard work and a college degree will put more money in my pocket and ceremony based on a pinky promise will bring me happiness and stability.however one things hasn't changed i still believe in monsters that creep into my mind and build walls ten feet high. I believe in them more than i believe in us and honestly they are more of a reality than the fictitious future you speak and this absent love you rarely show.

Dec 17, 2014 at 9:39 PM

Most days my chest tightens and I can't breathe

I'm emptying out and my body is caving in on itself

The place where my soul would pillar and hold up the walls of my insides is crumbling and everything is crashing around it

I can breath because the black smog I have surrounded myself with is consuming me. Where am I if I'm not lost

Maybe I have been saved and Im closer to death how dare I deny my destiny to go forth into the void with a cave for a vessel and no home to call my own

Everyone is inside and I am left out In the cold once more so why not walk into the mist of the night.

I can claim this as home

I can call this my castle

I can't find my heart.

Feb 27, 2016 at 2:12 PM

I sit here and wonder what it means to make another happy

I sit with water standing in my eyes

And cry for failed attempts and broken hearts and mishaps on my part

I put up messages for help for the nights that I don't feel right in your arms because your heart sounds different.i sit and I dream of ways to make you happy

Make you linger longer on the these eyes of mine,make you sensitive to the flesh that belongs to me..

How do I get that glow back.. How do I come home and make you smile.

Maybe I've forgot or maybe it's changed

But you are skimming through my face as I search through yours

I cry

I cry for my heart..cause it will break and it will only have me to blame.

U break my heart in new profound ways just hollowing it out daily

When I allow myself to go I will be a shell carved out to fit you

I'm profoundly starved

Of properly being held

Limp arm enclose in an

Animatronic home

I'm hungry for closeness

Burrying burdens in the folds of skin that house me I am hungry

For lips that search for me?

Is that to much to beg heaven for?

Reciprocity? Maybe deep pools

Of water to cool in oceans that call my name are only for me

Love that won't stain my pillow case. That will rain in my fields of flowers

I hold these wilting gardens close to me for I have shared too much and I have nothing here.

Have you ever heard a whisper of what you are meant to do?

Scared of leaving rain clouds that never offer respite

I want to be hugged because you wanted to hug me and u tell me you arent that person. You echoed from mountains in my mind that you simply have no passion to keep me close. There is nothing at my feet but forward pathways.

My heart feels hallow and I am hopeless here. Tears stain my pillow case again.